50 Shades of Indignation

I am filled with indignation today. It is probably not for the reasons you have imagined.

I have spent the last few days reading blogs, comments, diatribes, and arguments over the 50 Shades of Grey movie and book series. And to be honest, I am ticked.

It seems to me that people are very quick to come to the rescue of Anastasia, a fictional character by the way. Equally, they are desperate to save the masses from themselves or some would be abuser like their view of Mr Grey, also fictional.

I have one or maybe several questions. Where are these impassioned, enraged people when a real person tries to get help? What do they say or do when a woman comes to them with concerns over the manipulation and abusiveness of a boyfriend, husband, brother, co-worker, or even father? Are they so quick to take up the fight for real people with real faces and real names?

My experience says no, they are hiding behind their computers, desks, and pulpits. The only words they have are platitudes, misunderstood scripture and promises of "I'll pray for you". They are not quick to take up the fight because it scares the pants off of them.

And why would't it? Normal sex has been too scary to talk about, perverted sex even worse.

I'll be honest, I have not read the 50 Shades books. I haven't seen the movie. I will probably never will because I am not into bondage. It's not my cup of tea, but I refuse to criticize something I have not even cracked the cover of.

I, however, have been privy to someone's blank stare, change of subject, accusation of lying, or even an accusation of "initiating it". I have had people come to me with similar experiences, I have been told to just forgive and forget; you know because the Bible says to "Honor your father". I have seen a woman in an outright abusive relationship be told to stay because "God hates divorce". I seen people left abandoned and helpless because others just didn't know what to do and they didn't want to get involved.

You know what? bad stuff happens. Most people who have been or are being abused just want to be validated and protected. Their identities are being stripped away along with their self-worth. Don't become another one of their abusers.

It is high time we stop sending our impassioned pleas out into cyberspace! Those words are lost on nameless, faceless causes. Real people need real help. You won't have to go looking for someone to help, you probably already know someone going through something. When they decide to talk to you....LISTEN. That is the number one best thing you can do. People need to be heard and if they are being abused they are not being heard. They need you to hear them. I needed someone to hear me.

I finally got help, not from my abuser or my accusers, but from a few that were willing to listen and walk with me through a very dark emotional and spiritual healing. Hurting people do not need platitudes. They do not need your opinion. They need to be heard. They need to be understood. It will be rough. But,however rough it is for you, it is worse for the hurting one.

If you believe this movie/book is going to hurt a generation then my advice to you is to get ready. Do not make the mistakes of past, be they your own or the Church's. Be ready to listen and to help where help is wanted. Be quick to hear the Lord and not your opinion. The Church must become a healing balm and not a whip. We must become a healing hospital and not a jail house. We must become a healing liberator and not a court room.

Do not be distracted by the sound of your own voice. Do not be lured by cyberspace protesting. Do not get caught up in the frenzy of social media. Find yourself active where you feet touch the earth and your voice can be heard by open ears. Exchange your pleas to the masses for compassion and understand for the individual.

Remember, someone needs you to be even more impassioned for their issue than the masses do for your opinion of 50 Shades of Grey.

PS in case you don't already know, this applies to men as well as women. Women are not the only people getting abused.

Princess Leia and Wonder Woman

I have 2 twenty-something daughters.

They have real names but for internet consumption I gave them the aliases Princess Leia and Wonder Woman. Why those names, you ask? Because they're awesome and they embody characteristics of both girls.

Much like Princess Leia my oldest has always surrounded herself with some real characters, most of which have been male, one even furry like Chewbacca, haha. She may be small in stature but can fight through most anything, especially because she understands the value of a good team. She is intuitive, creative, sensitive and tough. She is both princess and Jedi, a true space opera Diva.

Now the younger Wonder Woman is all Goddess, a woman among women. She is a classy, sassy, voluptuous, take charge and make you tell the truth kind of woman. She is the boss. She most definitely can hold her own running with all those men; Superman, Batman, Aquaman, Spiderman, Business Man, Husbandman (he's pretty sure he's a superhero, lol) etc.

There are probably other comparisons I could make but it's late and I am tired.

There are plenty of other people in my life but these 2 I birthed and they are some of the best friends I have. I tend to mention them often, so you needed to be introduced. Say "hi" everyone!

PS. Here's a shout out to my 2 grandbabies (there's more on the way), Nonie loves you munchkins!!!

Syncretism

Syncretism
noun
1. the amalgamation or attempted amalgamation of different religions, cultures, or schools of thought.

"My ideas about God weren't all good, all bad, or even all Christian. They were a syncretism of good theology, bad parenting, Lutheran passivity, and American culture." Susan E Isaacs author of Angry Conversations with God

I love when I run across a word that I do not know. I am quick to look it up to gain a grasp of it's meaning.

This word, syncretism, stood out to me, not only because I did not recognize it, but because of the context in which it was used. In her memoir, Isaacs is trying to deal with how her relationship with God went off the rails by going to marriage counseling with God. This to me is a fascinating concept that is completely based on her perception of God and conversations that basically take place with the help of her imagination (and probably with just a smidge of God intervention. I'm only on page 17 so I do not know exactly how this is going to go, but it looks to be an adventure.

Anyway, in the quote, she describes the makeup/syncretism of her belief system. Based on the definition of this word, it might would be easy to become offended by this whole statement, but a person being honest with oneself would realize we each have a syncretism of many different ideas from many different places that make up our image of God; good, bad, and ugly. I know I do. You may say "Well I get all my ideas straight from the Bible!" but in reality you probably read the Bible with your own life filters, word definitions and cultural ideas. I do and at 44 I can tell you that my understanding about things I read in the Bible and understand about God have changed a few times over the years simply because I either matured or gained new knowledge I did not previously possess. That is the glory of growth.

So that is it, I just wanted to share my new word with whoever is reading this, even if it's just me.