Syncretism

Syncretism
noun
1. the amalgamation or attempted amalgamation of different religions, cultures, or schools of thought.

"My ideas about God weren't all good, all bad, or even all Christian. They were a syncretism of good theology, bad parenting, Lutheran passivity, and American culture." Susan E Isaacs author of Angry Conversations with God

I love when I run across a word that I do not know. I am quick to look it up to gain a grasp of it's meaning.

This word, syncretism, stood out to me, not only because I did not recognize it, but because of the context in which it was used. In her memoir, Isaacs is trying to deal with how her relationship with God went off the rails by going to marriage counseling with God. This to me is a fascinating concept that is completely based on her perception of God and conversations that basically take place with the help of her imagination (and probably with just a smidge of God intervention. I'm only on page 17 so I do not know exactly how this is going to go, but it looks to be an adventure.

Anyway, in the quote, she describes the makeup/syncretism of her belief system. Based on the definition of this word, it might would be easy to become offended by this whole statement, but a person being honest with oneself would realize we each have a syncretism of many different ideas from many different places that make up our image of God; good, bad, and ugly. I know I do. You may say "Well I get all my ideas straight from the Bible!" but in reality you probably read the Bible with your own life filters, word definitions and cultural ideas. I do and at 44 I can tell you that my understanding about things I read in the Bible and understand about God have changed a few times over the years simply because I either matured or gained new knowledge I did not previously possess. That is the glory of growth.

So that is it, I just wanted to share my new word with whoever is reading this, even if it's just me.

Choices

I am sick to my stomach today. You wanna know why? It is this crap about living like you're gonna die young. I have had so many conversations through the years with people who have this attitude. Apparently Ke$ha thinks it's such a good idea she sings about it in a catchy song.

Do you know how many twenty, thirty, forty even fifty-somethings (and even older) out there believed they were gonna die young and are not dead yet? A lot, that's how many. Do you know how many did die young, or are dying young, and wish they could have lived to be old? A lot, dare I say most.

The belief about dying young is just code for "I want to be irresponsible and not have to wake up and face the reality I created with all my bad irresponsible choices". Yes I said CHOICES.

Guess what? The choices you make in your life are just that, YOUR CHOICES. You cannot truly stand and say it was someone else's fault when you leave a wake of destruction behind you as a result of choices you make. Honestly chances are really good you will live to be much much older than you are right now, even with all your bad choices. One day you are going to have to stand up and say "yes, I did ____" and "no, I did not do ____". You will have to own it. It's on you. Period.

I think this is the real reason people want to believe there is no heaven or hell, because if there is then death will not even keep you from facing choices you make. All I will say about that is "WHAT A HUGE GAMBLE". There is way too much evidence to speak of an afterlife to think that death is any kind of an escape. But if you are willing to take the risk, go ahead.

As far as life goes, keep in mind, you are not the only one who pays for your choices. You are the sower/planter of them and you will reap their fruit; remember though, others will eat of their fruit as well. You, your parents, your spouse,  your siblings, your children, your friends, your co-workers, and your victims will all in some way taste the fruit of your choices. Wait did I say VICTIMS? Yes, yes I did! Your bad choices may/will lead to many different scenarios in which you will leave victims behind. I know that's hard to chew on because in this selfish attitude about living like you're gonna die young is the inherent belief that you are the only one affected by your choices. That is a a HUGE LIE. Stop believing this insanity. You are not an island. You do not live in a bubble You are not alone.

Your life touches so many people. Your choices matter. Your life matters. YOU MATTER!!!!!

I will leave with this: May your days be long and your choices wise! 

Love me, Like me, Hate me, Reject me

I started this blog months ago with visions of writing all of my thoughts and wise words to share with the world only to realize my huge fear of letting anyone in to see the real me.

I am not a neat little package all wrapped up with a bow. My paper tears, wrinkles, and sometimes runs short. Bow...what bow? it must have fallen of in the car.

I am not the prim and proper little girl with a frilly, lacy dress and good manners. Frilly, lacy dresses ITCH and good manners tend to be for someone trying to sell you something while trying to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

I am not the sophisticated, well-spoken, demure woman of God I thought I should be. I have challenging questions, thoughts and revelations that make me and everyone else uncomfortable. I have said 'crap" from the pulpit in church, and people are lucky I didn't say worse.  I love God and He loves me, but we sometimes have words and it's not always pretty.

I can be all of the above things if I have to be, but it is hard work that ends up leaving me feeling tired, empty and alone with a very real  "me" that no one really knows.

Honestly, I am a mess. I am 43 years old with screwed up hormones, an empty nest, an identity crisis, and a sack of stories I am afraid to tell for fear of the back-lash. I have spent so many years trying to say and do the acceptable things so that no one would "talk" about me, but I found out they talked about me anyway. I have worried when it seemed some people did not like or accept me no matter what I did, and then I realized I didn't really like the ones I was worried about that much anyway.

I know you aren't supposed to not like people, and I know people say you can love them but you don't have to like them. That is a bunch of bull. It is terribly difficult to love someone you do not like, so stop trying to be so spiritual about it.  Maybe it isn't about liking or not liking people as much as realizing who you should and should not let have serious influence in your life. Maybe just maybe it is ok to have different levels of relationships in your life with different people. Maybe it is ok to have boundaries and to make choices on who to allow on the property of your life.

So this is me trying to just be me. Love me, like me, hate me, reject me; that is up to you. I need to be myself regardless of the outcome. I have to start loving me. I have to start accepting me. It ultimately doesn't matter if anyone else does.

Making Applesauce Is Like Dealing With People

It is Saturday and it is quiet in my house. This is unusual. As a result I have spent a good portion of the day binge watching Once Upon A Time. Thank you Netflix and Roku.
After my long, hard day of watching TV,  I remembered I had apples still sitting on my counter waiting for me to make applesauce. The munchies got me up to work. A friend told me how easy applesauce is to do homemade and she was right. Thank you Melissa K.

Recipe:
15 medium apples, peeled, cored, and cut - I used Gala apples
2/3 cup water - I added a little extra because my crock-pot cooks a little hot
1/2 cup brown sugar
I also added about a teaspoon of cinnamon

That's it. Put it all in a crock-pot on low and let it cook about 6 hours. To be honest mine only took about 4 1/2 hours because like I said my crock-pot cooks a little hot. I also stirred mine regularly but that is because I just couldn't stop messing with it.

When it's all done just use that handy dandy tool pictured below to mash it all up. The apples were so tender they mashed easily.  If you want it smoother you could use an electric beater. 

I did not even wait for it to cool off before I made a bowl for myself. And let me tell you, this was delicious!!!

There you have it: homemade applesauce. See, sometimes there is cooking here. 

In trying to think of some life lesson or words of wisdom to go with this recipe, I realized that the process I used for this applesauce is a lot like the one I use for dealing with people who come to me for help with life's stuff. First you must cut the apples apart (find out what is going on inside), remove the core, skins, and seeds (help remove that which is not helpful, useful and possibly harmful), put the prepared apple pieces back together (keep and encourage what is good), add a little sugar and spice (love and wise words), add some heat (endurance and patience while things get worked out), take a masher to it all (discipline and restructuring), and serve it up for all to enjoy (at last freedom, joy, peace, wholeness). For some I have had the pleasure of having in my life this has been a short process, for some a long one, and for others a repeated one. Nonetheless I love those who have sat with me, often at my kitchen island, and poured out their hearts while I attempted to help make their lives into something beautiful and delicious. The funny thing is, the beauty is in the apples as well as in the people. Most of what they need is already there. I simply help to bring its potential to reality.  

By the way it is not Saturday anymore. It is now 1:00 am on Sunday. Don't forget to set your clocks back one hour. FALL BACK :)

*Note:this post used to have pictures but in making some adjustments to things I lost all my pictures and I cannot find them - oh well - that's life in a digital age. :)