Validation

Validation

It is a powerful concept.

How much of what we say and do feeds on validation?

Do you post on social media and then wait patiently not so patiently for those notifications to roll in of likes and comments? Do you get upset when there aren't any or even worse, someone disagrees with you or your opinion?

We live in a technological age that is allowing us to share intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, our opinions in a very large crowded room. This can be a very uncomfortable feeling.

Most of us have grown up with a very small audience to our opinions. Sure, our brothers and sisters disagreed with us, but we fought and moved on. We've disagreed with our parents, but hey they gave birth to us so we give them the benefit of the doubt. Friends, well we tend to keep the ones that agree and toss the ones that don't. That is unless we really like them, then we overlook some things.

But the internet ... it's a very large room full of strangers and not so strangers.

You like an article or post a status. It pops up in someone's feed and they don't like it. (Read, they don't like me.) Or they leave a comment. Quick check! are they agreeing or disagreeing? OH NO, they disagree! If it's someone we know they may lecture us on how wrong we are for "agreeing" with such a thing. If it's someone we don't know they may tell us all the reasons we are wrong and call us a "douche-canoe" (or some other fun insult).

Invalidated.

Depressed.

Angry.

Unsettled.

Pick one or make up your own. It happens to us all at some point.

Guess what? Your opinion is just that, your's. You can have it. You don't need anyone to agree with it. Agreement is not necessary for validation. You are a person. You have a brain and a heart. You are valid. Did you hear me?

YOU ARE VALID! 

Your opinion may be right. Your opinion may be wrong. It does not change your validation status.  If you believe something, have the courage and conviction to not need everyone else's agreement. You do not need everyone to tell you are OK or right. If you do, then it is time to really reevaluate what you believe.

Maybe it's time for an opinion check. Do a little research. Hear some people out on why they feel the way they do. Pray. Read. Sit quietly with yourself and figure out who you are and why you believe the things you do. You may just find that validation you searched so hard for in other people's approval when you finally approve of yourself.