Validation

Validation

It is a powerful concept.

How much of what we say and do feeds on validation?

Do you post on social media and then wait patiently not so patiently for those notifications to roll in of likes and comments? Do you get upset when there aren't any or even worse, someone disagrees with you or your opinion?

We live in a technological age that is allowing us to share intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, our opinions in a very large crowded room. This can be a very uncomfortable feeling.

Most of us have grown up with a very small audience to our opinions. Sure, our brothers and sisters disagreed with us, but we fought and moved on. We've disagreed with our parents, but hey they gave birth to us so we give them the benefit of the doubt. Friends, well we tend to keep the ones that agree and toss the ones that don't. That is unless we really like them, then we overlook some things.

But the internet ... it's a very large room full of strangers and not so strangers.

You like an article or post a status. It pops up in someone's feed and they don't like it. (Read, they don't like me.) Or they leave a comment. Quick check! are they agreeing or disagreeing? OH NO, they disagree! If it's someone we know they may lecture us on how wrong we are for "agreeing" with such a thing. If it's someone we don't know they may tell us all the reasons we are wrong and call us a "douche-canoe" (or some other fun insult).

Invalidated.

Depressed.

Angry.

Unsettled.

Pick one or make up your own. It happens to us all at some point.

Guess what? Your opinion is just that, your's. You can have it. You don't need anyone to agree with it. Agreement is not necessary for validation. You are a person. You have a brain and a heart. You are valid. Did you hear me?

YOU ARE VALID! 

Your opinion may be right. Your opinion may be wrong. It does not change your validation status.  If you believe something, have the courage and conviction to not need everyone else's agreement. You do not need everyone to tell you are OK or right. If you do, then it is time to really reevaluate what you believe.

Maybe it's time for an opinion check. Do a little research. Hear some people out on why they feel the way they do. Pray. Read. Sit quietly with yourself and figure out who you are and why you believe the things you do. You may just find that validation you searched so hard for in other people's approval when you finally approve of yourself.

Seriously? 52 Books in 52 Weeks

In January I started a reading challenge that is stretching me real bad. Last year I read somewhere around 20 books. This challenge, if completed (and it will be), will leave me having read 52 books in one year. Oh yeah and not just books I like but ones that are 100 years old or a Pulitzer Prize winner. *insert snarky face.

Don't get me wrong, I like to read, be it a little on the slow side, but I like to read what I enjoy. I like to be entertained while being challenged to think. In the midst of my 40's I find me trying to better myself or maybe catch up on stuff I avoided so that... I don't know...perhaps I can be a "grown up".

Well let me tell you being a "grown up" is over-rated with a capital O. Here I am on March 15th and I am on my 8th book. I should be on number 10 or 11. What happened?

I'll tell you what happened. The Picture of Dorian Gray is what happened. OH. MY. LORD. If I could meet Oscar Wilde I would slap his face and stamp "Superfluous" on his book in red ink like my high school English teacher would have done to me. That story has so many useless words. I thought it would be interesting. Dorian Gray has popped up in other things I enjoyed; like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Penny Dreadful and I liked him just fine. But this book - ugh. It is not even that long, but I trudged through it for 3 weeks. He rambled on in my head for 3 weeks only to climax and end in about a page and half. Figures.

The one book that has truly been a joy was Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. I loved it. It was amazing. I have talked about it to anyone I thought might read it. Ready Player One is set about 30 years in the future, but is filled front to back with 80's pop culture references, especially ones about video games. The main character (Wade Watts) is a teenager who practically lives in a virtual reality world called OASIS, whose creator (James Halliday), a teen in the 80's, has left behind an "Easter Egg" in the wake of his death. I also was a teenager in the 80's and have been known to play a video game or two, so this was quite a nostalgic read for me. After a while I barely noticed the 80's stuff because I got very involved with the characters and the story itself. A lot of it is a mystery that you as the reader will not be able to solve without the characters. In turn they find themselves in the same predicament with each other as the whole thing is based on a competition to find the "Easter Egg" that will leave someone very very wealthy. Like filthy stickin' rich wealthy. It's a really good story. Did I mention I loved this book?

So far I have read: Holes in the Ground by JA Konrath
                               Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
                               The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
                               Chosen by KF Breene
                               The Housewife Assassin's Handbook by Josie Brown
                               The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
                               Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Currently I am reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I have a few others I am reading on occasion: Renew Your Mind in 30 Days by Phil Drysdale, Angry Conversations with God by Susan E Isaacs, and The Walking Dead Compendium One by Robert Kirkman.

My book selection process has been interesting, almost like a research project. I really am trying to branch out. For a very long time I read primarily Christian fiction and then started reading more Young Adult stuff. (I love the Hunger Games trilogy and The Uglies series.) I have taken the prompts on the challenge and attempted to get outside my comfort zone while trying not to commit reading suicide. I am doing pretty good so far, no thanks to Dorian Gray and Oscar Wilde. Summertime will surely see me caught up since I love to sit in the sun and read a good book.

Here is the challenge if you are interested: PopSugar 2015 Reading Challenge
Also Goodreads.com has a great group working on the challenge: Ultimate 2015 Reading Challenge

Fight Club (for my hormones)

Sometimes life is hard.

Lately it's been hard.

I'm generally a pretty positive person, but I gotta tell you the hormonal shifts that hit you in your forty's are just not nice. It has been nearly 24 years since this body has had a baby and I guess my ovaries, uterus, and other hormonal organs have been having regular meetings about retiring and their feelings about that.

These meetings make their old PMS monthly gatherings look like a church bake sale.

These meetings are somewhat unpredictable and feel a lot like Fight Club, and everyone knows the first rule of Fight Club is we don't talk about Fight Club.

Well, I don't like Fight Club's gag order! I think we should talk about what happens with our lady parts. There is no shame! We ladies make up half the population which means half of humans go through some sort of menopausal symptoms as some point!

Mine range from feeling itchy, depressed, tired, angry, emotional, sensitive, bloated and sometimes numb. I hardly recognize who I have become.

I'll be honest and tell you I have found a few things that have helped.

I take Cinnamon/Chromium everyday along with vitamin D. I use a combo of essential oils in a carrier oil on my feet: Clary Sage, Vitex Berry and Ylang Ylang.

The Vitex Berry aka Chaste berry has helped my periods go back to a more normal schedule. They had gotten to 23 days apart with breakthrough bleeding - YIKES!. Now they are more like 27 and regular. I tried the Vitex in a supplement form and while it worked, it gave me heartburn all the time ( apparently everything gives me heartburn now- yay)

The Clary Sage helps with my moods, especially so if I use it in a diffuser. Sometimes I add a couple drops of spearmint. It makes a happy smell.

The Ylang Ylang helps with mood too, along with other health benefits like lowering blood pressure ( I only recently added this to my routine). Let me tell you though, Ylang Ylang smells like a freakin' funeral home, WOW- yeah. I advise using it sparingly!

I really like Native American Nutritionals essential oils. I also have quite a few Plant Therapy essential oils - they are okay. They do not smell as good as the NAN counterparts. If you have a friend who sells oils from DoTerra or Young Living, you should consider buying something from them, if for no other reason than to just be supportive. Essential Oils really are great and trust me I was super skeptical before I tried them! One small bottle can last you a very long time since they are highly concentrated.

I found out just how concentrated they are. My little granddaughter has a light skin sensitivity to cinnamon. I forgot this, mostly because I had never seen it personally. I let her sniff the cinnamon oil and apparently it barely touched her little nose. After a few minutes she started crying and rubbing her nose and face. Within just a couple of seconds her whole face was bright red and hot to the touch. I pinned her down and washed her face and she quit crying. She never got any worse but her cute little face was red and hot like that for about an hour, like someone had painted her face and she had smeared it all around. I felt so bad, even though she didn't even seem to notice. Mark my words - Essential Oils are highly concentrated and can cause skin sensitivity, even if you've never reacted! Always dilute with some kind of carrier. Read the warnings and don't let your little munchkins sniff straight from the bottle :).

Okay - enough of my public service announcement!

Like I said sometimes life is hard. Don't give up, Talk about what's going on. Do research. If you don't want to go natural or nothing is working, see a doctor. They should be able to help. Hang in there. Life doesn't stay hard forever.

...I hope :)

Coincidence or not? LOL